Invisible Monkeys

I have yet to see any monkeys in New Zealand, outside of the zoological gardens of Auckland. These gardens do not count. They are the kind of place where you would grow trees of monkeys, cutting them off at the tail when ripe, rather than herds lazily grazing the hillside, bleating in distress and satisfaction, if you know what I mean. (I can see by the reflection of your face in the monitor that you do not. Don't worry, this is a phase that will pass on your way to enlightenment.)

As I said, I have not yet seen monkeys, but evidence of their existence is all around. You can hardly stick your head into a forest without hearing a constant clicking sound, not rising and falling in waves like American crickets, but steady, and positional, like each click wants to clearly specify its location in space-time, and a forest positioning system could be built based on the regularity.

The reason I have not seen these monkeys is that they are invisible. That is the only conclusion that fits the evidence. They eat wallabies and throw the carcasses on the road. They shrink themselves to the size of mice and sneak into my pack to steal peanuts and eat my swim trunks. They send rabbits running down the highway as messengers. They light their tiny blue fairy lights in the forest at night to lure unwary travelers, and hold beeping, burbling councils high in the treetops to decide how to dispose of them. If you survive the night, it only means the pacifist and "continued studies" factions have won the debate -- for now.

Entire cultures have risen and fallen in the darkness of those forests, in fear of the invisible green monkeys, eyes crooked, tongues ever hanging out in gossip. But what can I do, as a mere traveler to this land, to free the people from this reign of terror, when I cannot even see the enemy?

I need to find some wizened old person to offer me cryptic advice on how I can rise above my station and save these people. I met two today; their advice amounted to: "wear stronger sunscreen" and "there's a hostel over there." I have taken this advice to heart and hope to make further progress tomorrow, perhaps with the help of magical items provided by supernatural persons. Only time can tell: I am, until then, only a servant to the historic powers of goodness.